9 historically-inspired Valentine’s Day gifts to drive your man wild
Most of them require some hair.
With Valentine’s Day upon us, you might be looking for gift ideas for that one-of-a-kind person in your life. Obviously, you can’t just get them a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers — you need something that makes a statement. Why not look to history for inspiration?
Here’s a list of romantic gifts — everything from sweet, sexy, and just plain strange (but usually a combination of all three).
#1 A hair sculpture
Your looks may fade but cut a lock of hair, and it will keep its color and luster for centuries. The concept of hair art has been around since at least the 17th century, but it became an increasingly popular gift in the 19th century.
Hair art is most frequently associated with mourning — parents would clip locks of their children's hair in eras when infant mortality was high, and Queen Victoria famously wore a lock of Prince Albert's hair in a locket until her own death. But hair art also had romantic connotations as it was a popular gift to send to your sweetheart as a way to always be with them.
In 1867, Mark Campbell published a book of "hair-work" instructions to be an "indispensable adjunct to every lady's toilet table" for dressing her hair and making her own decorations. Ladies cut their hair or saved strands from their brushes to create elaborate decorations — frames, wreaths, sculptures, fake flowers, etc. You can find them sitting in near-perfect condition at museums and antique shops to this day.
#2 Hunting gear dripping with subtext
Court Christmases in Tudor-era England were an elaborate affair. Celebrations lasted 12 days, and you were expected to give the king impressive gifts (not that you should expect anything so nice in return, of course!)
King Henry VIII had been pursuing Anne Boleyn for some time. Unlike her less-sophisticated counterparts (including her own sister), she did not simply relent and become his mistress as soon as he paid her any attention. She played the long game, and by 1532, when the likelihood of the king’s divorce was in sight, she gave him something absolutely dripping in metaphors: a pair of “exotic … richly decorated Pyrenean boar spears” as if to taunt him into pursuing her. They were married less than a month later in a secret ceremony several months before Henry’s marriage to his first wife was declared void.
#3 The head of your enemy
Not to be outdone, but Henry’s OG wife, Catherine of Aragon, also gave some pretty spectacular gifts. Frequently, in popular retellings of the six wives of King Henry VIII, Catherine of Aragon is portrayed as a bitter first wife and religious fanatic. What often gets missed is that her marriage with Henry was a love match, and for much of their 24-year marriage, he trusted her with weighty political matters.
While the king was off fighting the French in 1513, he left her as the regent — the effective ruler of England — for six months. During this time, the Scottish King James IV waged war on England, (clearly not understanding who he was dealing with). When Catherine’s armies killed James, a messenger returned with the Scottish king’s bloodied coat as palatable evidence of his death. Catherine was not satisfied and demanded he return to court with his head.
Catherine eventually settled on sending the coat to Henry, but in a letter, she told him she had wished to send the body but that “Englishmen’s hearts would not suffer it.”
#4 Love letters enclosed with… *ahem* intimate hair
If Cosmopolitan Magazine was around in Georgian England, you could bet this tip would be at the top of their miles-long list of truly bizarre things to do for your lover. If you’re anything like me, you might be gagging at this, but Lord Byron had an unusually extensive collection of pubic hair letters.
Byron was known for being a libertine and had a laundry list of aristocratic lovers who would send letters enclosed with their intimate hair — and sometimes blood. (It’s really not surprising he died of some kind of infection.) Naturally, he received so many of these letters that in return, he would send one back, not with his own hair, but with a few hairs clipped from his dog, Boatswain.
#5 Hair jewelry
In case you haven’t had enough hair-related ideas yet, hair was also a popular choice for jewelry, particularly in the Victorian era. People would braid locks of hair and place it in a setting (rings like this one were a popular choice), but it wasn’t uncommon to turn the hair into jewelry itself. Hair could be woven, crocheted and netted into elaborate pieces like brooches and bracelets. (You can see examples here.)
#6 Acrostic jewelry
The 19th century was unusually sentimental (as if you couldn’t tell by how much hair people were sending each other). In the early part of the century, giving jewelry encoded with messages spelled out by the first letter of each gemstone was popular.
For example, a common message would be REGARD spelled out with Ruby, Emerald, Garnet, Amethyst, Ruby and Diamond. Other popular words were ADORE and DEAREST, but you can spell anything.
Of everything on the list, this is something I would actually want. You can find acrostic jewelry in antique/vintage marketplaces, and you can get custom-made acrostic rings here.
#7 A busk engraved with your sweetheart’s name
For much of modern Western history, women wore corsets. Most of the corsets portrayed in modern period dramas fasten in the front with two long metal strips with interlocking rivet and post closures called a busk. This part of the garment keeps the shape in the front from collapsing and offers extra support to the bust.
Before this iteration of the corset, the corset (or “stays”) often fastened in the back with a removable busk inserted in a front panel. In this case, the busk was a long, narrow wooden whalebone or ivory stick that could be decorated as an expression of personal style. It was not uncommon, however, for men to carve one for their lover. Due to its close proximity to the wearer’s heart (and body), it suggested physical and emotional intimacy.
#8 Preserve their heart and show it off to houseguests
If hair keepsakes and jewelry seem a little bland, Mary Shelley of “Frankenstein” fame has a super romantic craft project that only requires some tuberculosis, a shipwreck and your valentine’s heart.
A lot can be said about Mary Shelley. In addition to being a brilliant author and thinker, she was the child of Mary Wollstonecraft, the famous feminist, and the political philosopher and anarchist William Godwin — naturally, her childhood was rather bohemian. Around age 17 started a relationship with the already-married Percy Bysshe Shelley. They married two years later, shortly after the suicide of his pregnant first wife, Harriet. (A love story for the ages!)
Considering all that *gestures vaguely at Mary Shelley*, what I’m about to tell you should sound comparatively normal.
In July of 1822, Percy Shelley was caught in a storm on his boat (the aptly named Don Juan) and drowned. He and his shipmates were found 10 days later and cremated, but his heart did not burn. No one is quite sure how it calcified, but modern physicians think it was due to tuberculosis. Whatever happened, Mary carried the heart with her for the rest of her life.
#9 If all else fails, a dowry
Despite what shows like Bridgerton tell you, dowries generally weren't a way to bribe a man to marry a woman. Dowries vary in function and delivery across cultures, but effectively, they serve the purpose of providing for the young couple throughout their lives.
You can see this played out in Jane Austen's novels. Not all women had them (as evidenced in "Sense and Sensibility"), but they did make life a lot easier for high-society brides to enter their marriage on somewhat equal standing. They wouldn’t have to rely entirely on their husband's ability to provide resources.
Dowries also made women significantly more attractive to "high-value" mates. A dowry could help you secure a marriage, even if you were a Plain Jane. Of course, there was some risk involved. In "Pride and Prejudice," Georgiana Darcy had a dowry of £30,000, attracting Mr. Wickham — a dishonest spendthrift and gambler. In Wilkie Collins' "The Woman in White," Sir Percival Glyde demands a marriage settlement that will hand the entirety of Laura Fairlie's dowry over to him in the case of her untimely death, incentivizing his maltreatment of her.
In England, the bride's family paid the dowry and invested in the bank at 4-5% interest. The dowry remained part of the bride's family's estate, and if the couple divorced or the wife died prematurely without leaving an heir, the money would be returned to her family.
To put this in context, Georgiana Darcy's dowry would be about $3.3 million in today's money. If you invested it in a HYSA at 4%, you would have about $131,000 to live off of annually. (Not exactly Pemberley money, but not bad.)
Start saving your pennies.
Thank heavens the standard nowadays is chocolate and flowers!